Many people have followed Katie’s blog she is a young woman who lives 3 houses down from my house in Jinja. She has encouraged me every time I read her blog…it has always confirmed that my heart was being called to come serve in Uganda. Today her blog struck me to my core.
I have asked the Lord to break me and pour me out and that I would live every minute of each day that I am here “bent low” and serving. My human flesh fails me. Yesterday was a hard day on me not emotionally but physically. Several times during the day I did not have a heart bent low attitude, I was ready to meet my team in London and go home. It is so difficult to always have the heart of a servant. I know there will be many more moments that my limits are put to the test and I will cry for the comforts of home. But I am reminded that He went beyond his emotional and physical limit for me and me alone. So it is those moments I will pray for…moments where I am pressed to the limit and He comes in and gives me the strength to keep going.
I have already seen Him work. I had a huge waive of fear come over me a few nights ago. I have never been here as the only mzungu and so naturally as a woman it is a little scary travelling far into the mountains and staying in foreign places. I could not sleep so I got up and picked up the Word and opened to Matthew 10:15 “Even the very hairs of yourh head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows”. His love is my security. I need not to fear people but fear God. The worst that can happen is that I lose my life…”To live as Christ and to die is gain”. He is my reward. He is so faithful to speak right into your fear. This allows me to bend low, because I know that bending low might involve great risk but that risk is my reward. I am truly living, only to die?
I am now sitting in a room full of Ugandan Pastors that have travelled longer distances than we would do driving and they have walked. I can hear their language and hear in their soft voices that they are here only for His glory. This encourages me to bend low. They have nothing, yet they find His joy fulfilling on the dirt floor praying. They pray with power and expectancy. I want to bend low to pray with such power. Around here, they live with lives bent low.
I will leave you with the challenge that I had today from Katie:
At the end of the day I bend low, asking for him to bend me lower.
Because I have a Savior who came to be a servant. He lived bent low. And bent down is where I see His face.
He lived, only to die. Could I?
Die to self and break open only to love. This Savior, His one purpose to spend himself on a messy us. Will I spend myself on behalf of those in front of me?
Will I get tired? Yes, I will. But when you are face to face with Jesus in the dirt, and the more I bend the harder and better and fuller this life gets. And sure we are tired, but oh we are happy!
Because bent down low is where we find the fullness of joy.
PRAYING FOR YOU AS YOU BEND LOW FOR WHOEVER IS IN FRONT OF YOU. HE WILL MEET YOU THERE.