Betrayal and Abandonment

Those two words have been surrounding me the last few weeks. Everywhere I turn I have one of the Two staring me in the face. I haven’t been able to run from it, so I have fought with the Lord as to why He is bringing these two into my life. He has once again revealed another glimpse of His heart to me.

A little over a week ago I myself experienced betrayal in my own personal life. It cuts deeper than anything I have experienced. I cried tears and then the anger came and I was so frustrated that I was dealing with issues that were taking my focus off of what the Lord had placed in front of me at that time. I didn’t understand why I was being attacked with things from home when I had so much on my plate here. It was a struggle to put my hurt aside and feel present here. But He is so gracious to me even in betrayal….

This weekend I was at the Babies Home doing what I love and that is loving on these precious children. Once a quarter the children’s guardians come to check up on the children or to bring paperwork that is required. This Saturday I was not expecting visitors at the home but some guardians started to come. I won’t go into detail but once again I was faced with these two ugly vices. These precious children were experiencing these Two and to see it imposed on an innocent child, it literally caused me to weep. Hard sobs. I was crying because I now knew why God had just one day before allowed me to walk through the Two because the next day I would need to walk through it with my sweet children. I brought one child in my lap as he cried for his momma who had just left him…again…and we held each other as we cried. He is 5 years old and at that moment I wanted to take it all from him, I wanted to bear it all. I knew what it tasted like and I couldn’t imagine what it tasted to a child. 

As I was trying to process everything last night I heard very clearly from the Lord. I was so angry and just throwing out the normal questions like: Why me? Why have you allowed these innocent children to experience such things? Just a spirit of unrest. I heard him speak to me and He clearly reminded me that He was betrayed by one His best friends. He reminded me that he looked upon His innocent son and had to watch him be abandoned my the world. He reminded me that just as I had felt the pain of my child that day and held him as we cried together, just days before He was holding me crying alongside of me. 

He is ever present. I have always known He knows everything we face here on this Earth, I have known that there is nothing that I face that He hasn’t already faced but today I not only know, I have seen. I have seen how He will always show up in betrayal and abandonment. He brings perspective. 

The two are a sweet blessing because there is nothing like those Two that can lead you to His feet faster. The Two show you that when we put our hope, security, and faith in man we always are risking having the Two following close behind. Those two will cause you to bend low, face down or to climb up into His lap. Either place is where we should be found. 

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