Tuesday March 13, 2012

To sit down and blog brings upon much anxiety. I do not consider myself a writer and I have never wanted to own a blog site. But here I am, my second go at it. Sometimes the words flood from my heart through my fingers other times I have to sit and wait. 

Today while traveling along this countryside, my thoughts would not slow down enough for me to even put them in ink. There is so much to say…my heart wants to explode with what He has placed upon me, yet I want to take my time. 

I will begin with my day. My friend Ashley has been working hard to see that Faima, who suffers with Sickle Cell at the age of 6, received the best care possible here in Uganda. She has done an amazing job and we have found the treatment that she would receive in the U.S.! So today we made the journey to Kampala to see the doctor. It is quite the journey…long, bumpy, hot, and scary. The only time I truly fear for my life is in a car in Kampala, because there are no driving rules. I had plenty of time to ride in silence while Faima slept with my mind jumping from one thing to another depending on what my eyes were looking at. 

As we reached one of the largest hospitals in Uganda we needed to go in and do some blood work to take to the specialist. The thought crossed my mind yet again, how did I get here? Sometimes I have to pinch myself. Dacia, a 27 year old banker, walking a little girl into a foreign hospital to take care of her health. He equips the called is spoken over my heart as I enter a mass of people and a distinctive smell. As I walk in I immediately have looks from everyone in the building, as it seems to me. I feel about as out of place as I look not knowing where to go. As I search the hospital it took all of me not to burst out in anger, tears, and not to get sick myself. How can I come from a country with such wealth and health care and this place has maybe a fraction of that? How can anyone from my country come over here and go back home and not want to do everything in their power to change this situation? A little boy with a massive tumor on the side of his face is staring at me with helpless eyes. A woman about to give birth is shrieking in pain. A man who has lost his leg is sitting in the waiting room and more than one person that I care to mention were lifeless and appeared to be near death. 

All awhile, I had a little 6 year old with a tight grasp on my hand as she took in the same scene I was.  We went to wait for the doctor and as we waited in the sickle cell clinic a young mom with a 16 month old came and sat next to me. We started talking and she was telling me that the crying baby in her lap was in crisis and it hurt for her to even be held. She told me about how hard it is to have a children here because you never know when you are going to lose them. At that moment she looked at me and she looked at Faima. I know she thought I had become Faima’s mom and I never wanted my skin to look like hers like I did at that moment. With the sweetest heart she looked at me and said with her eyes what I know so many people think; because I am an American I can afford to make sure my children live. She looked at me like, why? She loves her child just as much as any mom in America. She fights just as hard for her child like the moms in America that makes sure their house is safe guarded and their child sees as least amount of pain possible. 

We left the clinic and as Faima laid her head in my lap to sleep on the way home, it was another moment that I knew I am where I am supposed to be. Some children have a mom like the one I met at the clinic and others like the one with her head in my lap has no mom to fight for her health. But they both have a Father that knows every hair on their head and loves them with a Holy love. They are safe in His arms and His alone. Mine are just an extension of His. 

America…where have we gone wrong? Where have I gone wrong? So many times people say, “Dacia, what you are doing is incredible…not many people would do something like what you are doing”…to which I will say this confidently…I am not abnormal or special or a hero. I am just an ordinary girl who loves her home, loves going and getting pampered, who loves fashion, fun nights out with my friends, but one who just said YES to what He asked. Everyone has a YES. That doesn’t mean you will move to Third World Country, but you will be saying yes to the purpose He created you. I can guarantee one thing, it will be out of your comfort zone. 

If it is anything like what my heart felt today, and I am sure it is, it is worth saying Yes. 

“The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy. I come that they may have life, and life to the Full.” John 10:10

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