I went back to my journal this morning. I went back to just over a month ago when I was preparing to come here to Africa, I was away from my family while my granddad was in the hospital. The same emotions overcame me today as I am away from my family who I love more now than ever, as I learned of my mom’s stroke.
Before I came to Africa for my three month stay last summer, I went crazy and got a tattoo. 🙂 I thought long and hard about what I wanted on my wrist for the rest of my life. At that time I had been studying how God had chose me (yes the whole predestination talk) and how if He wouldn’t have pursued me, I would still be in darkness. The word “Chosen” took on much weight in my life. He CHOSE me for salvation, He CHOSE me to come to Uganda. So I decided to get “Yalonze” on my wrist after much research and confirmation from my Ugandan friends. Yalonze was the Lugandan word for “chosen”. Upon my arrival I was showing my Ugandan friends my tattoo and found out that they were wrong and that yalonze actually meant “she chose”. I laughed but not as much as my mom who was not a fan of my tattoo.
Today I laugh and know that I for sure was Chosen but I also Chose to say yes. I have chosen no matter the cost to follow. I am so scared at this time. I need Him to help me in my unbelief. I am weak in my flesh.
My parents also said Yes to the Call many years ago in surrendering their life to the ministry. There have been great rewards and years of ministry that make it all worth it but they have also seen the hard parts of ministry. That road we are walking today has been a road of difficulties. Questions along the way of “why”? Why hasn’t he opened another door? Why did things end up like this? But in the midst of the “why” He has remained faithful. And I look to my parents as those who say “Yes” every day. They have led the example no matter if no one stands with you, when the road is full of difficulties, when people betray you, when you don’t know where your next paycheck is coming from, when it’s not all fun, you continue to walk in faithfulness.
Today I will continue to say “yes” by His grace, not by my own strength. Although oceans are between us, it reminds me that His love for us is bigger than that ocean. The day I left for Uganda so many people sent me prayers and encouragement and I wrote them down in my journal. My mom sent me this and I know she would say the same today:
“I will not be moved and I will say of the Lord; You are my strength, my shield, my fortress, deliverer, shelter, strong tower, my very present help in time of need”.
Mom, Dad, Raina…thank you for CHOOSING. Jesus, thank you that you CHOSE us. We walk boldly. All for Your Name and Your Glory.