What are we doing wrong?

IMG_0218Sitting at a table tonight with my friends from home who are here on a short mission and our laughter quickly turned to tears as the heaviness filled the room. Heaviness of what our eyes have seen- naked children, starving babies, mothers who have their babies tied to their back as they hoe the field in the hot African sun, a truck full of women, children and pastors who traveled in the bed of a truck standing for four hours to come and sit and listen to the Word for 5 hours. We were led by the future of Uganda and it brought a hope like no other. I love experiencing over and over the silence that comes from no words with those who are seeing for the first time what God has done in our Secondary School. As Martha Judith, 16, led our voices in 10,000 Reasons we were all wiping tears from our eyes, including the one leading-her tears splashed the concrete. Now my friends try to find words to paint the picture and capture the spirit in that concrete room sitting on top of a hill in Uganda, filled with 141 students and pastors, with praises flowing from the lips of those who know pain.

The questions turned into “how can we not see it? How can we not get that this is better than our iPads, our new homes, our high paying jobs? How can we continue to add to ours when there are starving children?” No one could answer…the room was silent. We all felt the weight of the reality. Our hearts were literally broken and there were no single tears, there was a brokenness that came rushing in and through us. Will others see unless they see with their own eyes?

But we have this….our stories. The stories of how after being gone for 3 months I walked into our Babies Home to be greeted with a rush of children knocking me over to hug me…them leading me through the grass as tall as my head to tell me their desires for what they want this year, it is hearing high school students lead with choked up voices due to their passion for Him, it is how this world has changed me. Life is different. I pray that I would literally lose my life for the sake of His…for the sake of others to get it. “It”-a life that you could not fathom, when singing in the middle of a poverty-stricken country on a hill with no instruments brings you a peace and joy you have never experienced, when knowing that loving the least of these is truly loving my personal Savior Himself. When giving up the comforts of home to live like others will bring a fulfillment that I starve for in my comforts. I know how my heart aches tonight desiring that everyone could experience what we experienced today…it doesn’t have to be in Africa or some place far from your home, but that it will take you to a place you never thought you could go. How much more does our Father desire for us? How much more does our Father want to pour out on us? How much more love could He bestow?

Hands and feet. We are His hands. We are His feet. What are we doing wrong? We need more…

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